One week later and I’m already feeling reflective…classic Sarah.
A little over a week ago I walked across a stage to receive my undergraduate degree. Moved my tassel to the left, threw my cap in the air, and celebrated the end of my educational journey at Gonzaga University. It feels surreal but truthfully the emotions of it all did not hit me until that weekend. I had been waiting and praying for this day for months as my level of burnout was well past its limit. I can vividly recall the countless tears shed in my car on the phone to my mom, asking “How will I get through this??”. It sounds dramatic but I had never experienced such burnout in my life.
There were more curve balls thrown on my path this year than I could have ever anticipated. I kept continuously asking the questions “What is this trying to teach me? What have I done wrong? Why isn’t anything working?”. None of it made sense and it ate me alive how I was taking these hits. It sounds dark I will admit but experiencing such a roller coaster of challenges is now something I am very grateful for. This chapter has certainly been something else but I am proud of myself for showing up every day as Sarah and surviving with a smile on my face.
So where does that leave me today? Why am I suddenly having all these epiphanies?
I can finally breathe.
For the first time in a very long time, I feel a sense of peace. The juggling of too many plates (my own doing), the deadlines, the lack of sleep, and the lack of sanity, all have stopped and it’s suddenly quiet. Typically, this would scare me as the go-getter in me feels that I must be tackling the world head-on 24/7 but for the first time in my life, I am grateful for the silence. It’s allowing me to think clearly and rationally about what I want for this next chapter. I was putting such emphasis on the fact that my plan after college was not perfectly penciled out. My expectations were so far off as I can see now how in need I was of a break. I was describing this feeling to a friend the other day, but I feel like there’s life back in my chest. It feels warm and joyous as if someone just relit a flame in my soul.
My computer wallpaper for the past year has been a quote from We The Urban, with the words “Your Perspective Is Your Power” but the relevance of this phrase did not truly resonate with me until January of this year. Sappy might be an understatement but the way we look at the cards dealt to us is a true reflection of how we will respond. I genuinely believe that everything thrown on our path was purposeful, whether we liked it or not, someone or something knew we could handle it. I kept screaming, writing, and crying the words “WHY?” because I just wanted to make sense of it all. I survived, of course, I did, but I now understand why. I feel stronger and more confident about my abilities to showcase to the world. To what my purpose in this next chapter will look like, I truthfully couldn’t say. However, I trust that what’s meant to be will be, and to that I will embrace every opportunity and challenge that comes my way.
So why am I sharing this with Cookin Mug? The journey of accepting what excites me has been something else. I created this blog as a semester-long project for my social media marketing class but truthfully, I should have started it a long time ago. It’s intimidating to showcase your voice and vision to the world and the perfectionist in me never felt I was ready to take the leap. I of course plan on continuing the food content as that is something I am passionate about! However, I’m also planning on using this platform as my creative portfolio, sharing what excites me at the moment. Whether that be fitness, fashion, design, trends, podcasts, music, or books, Cookin Mug is here to share it all! I’m beyond excited about embarking on this next chapter and having a platform to document it.
And, to whoever is reading this, please be nice to those around you. You NEVER know what others are going through and any form of kindness does not go unnoticed. Check up on your friends, send a text, mail a letter, or give them a call. At the end of the day, we’re all humans who deserve to be treated kindly.
And so, the next chapter begins.
Cheers to new beginnings and taking a leap <3
Big love always,
Cookin Mug